Mormon Bloggers

Our church leaders counsel us often to live within our means and not try to keep up with the Jones’s.  As we search for a home, we have to ask ourselves what is truly a need and we remember how much less others have and our relatives who came before us.  It used to be common to squeeze into a small space.  My father-in-law said he had exactly one drawer when he was growing up for his clothes because there were so many kids in his family, but he was happy.  Living in an apartment hasn’t made us miserable, but according to the rules, we are supposed to only have two people per bedroom.  We would stay and save money a while longer if it weren’t for the worry that our manager would kick us out, although she doesn’t want to. 

This is our third time attempting to buy a house and though lenders have been under fire for the housing crisis, it seems nothing much has changed.  We were frustrated to receive a lot of pressure from our realtor and lender as they tried to convince us we could make the payment they suggested.  Years ago they told us just to get our “starter home” and then we could turn around an sell it for a lot of money, buying our dream house after that.  That’s just not how things went at all and luckily we ignored this advice.  We would have been stuck in a tiny house or possibly gone into foreclosure because my husband’s industry was so affected by the economy.

We refuse to be “house poor” – to put ourselves in a position that it’s impossible to save any money.  I can guarantee that things will start breaking way faster than we can afford to replace them, which would get us into credit card debt again.  I would rather stay in this apartment than go through that again.  I would rather go camping than to worry every minute of every day how we are going to make ends meet. 

We know our income and expenses best.  They don’t.  They kept trying to tell me how the tax break would make the payment the same as our rent, which just isn’t true. 

We’re praying so hard that something truly affordable will come up, so we might have to be patient a while longer.  We know we’ll be blessed for doing what’s wise for our family.  To lose a house would be devastating and make it hard to even find a place to rent.  Our family is too large to move in with family at this point. 

I hope we know the right home when we see it.  No matter what, it will be a stressful decision.

In our church, we talk a lot about researching our family history, but the other part is making our own, leaving journals, pictures, etc. for our relatives to see.  When I was a kid, we got together a few times to watch some old film my grandpa took of the family with no sound.  Years later, my uncle had a VHS tape made with a soundtrack including family favorites, but also recordings of our relatives singing.  It is one of my most valued possessions and it has become a little worn from overuse.  A bunch of us were given copies and I finally transferred mine to DVD this weekend, although I think my uncle could provide another one that is in better shape.

After my daughter watched Dora for the millionth time, my son put in a DVD and I wondered what annoying movie he was putting on.  He’s 9 and I was very surprised to see that he wanted to see the DVD we just made.  All of the kids watched with interest.  “There’s Grandma and Grandpa getting married!”  “Are you in this, Mom?”  “Who’s that?”  “Oh look!  It’s Great Grandma!  She looks so young!”  It’s two hours and they watched the whole thing.

There is one part I can never watch without crying.  One of my uncles died when he was 9 and it shows one last video as he does a relay race a father and sons campout.  In the background is another uncle singing who also died before I was born at the age of 23.  The next shot is at the cemetery and this was recorded for my dad while he was on his mission.  I look at my grieving loved ones as they stand over my uncle’s grave and I see my aunt who was a small child and later died when she was 36.  It shows their first Christmas without my uncle, their first parade, and the depressed expression on my grandma’s face is just too much to bear.  I will never forget how hard I cried the first time I saw that, but I also felt like I understood everyone a little better.  It was also strange to realize that the only voice I ever heard of one of my uncle’s was his singing voice.  Funny that I have never heard him talk, but music is my language.

I have always been a little resistant to having myself recorded whether I’m speaking, singing, or playing the piano, but I decided that my family would really want these things to remember me or know me.  I feel a bond with my singing uncle even though we never met.  I finally recorded some songs with my kids and instantly felt relieved.  It wasn’t perfect, but it was something and I can’t wait until everything is perfect.  I’ve also been working on making multiple back-ups of pictures and videos.

Are you working on any projects for your family?  I would love to hear about it!

Mormons have a special appreciation for our bodies and place an emphasis on the resurrection, believing we will literally be reunited with them, but in a perfect condition.  There is a scripture in The Book of Mormon that always gives me comfort and is etched in stone near the graves of my relatives.  Alma 40:23 says:

The soul shall be restored to the body, and the body to the soul; yea, and every limb and joint shall be restored to its body; yea, even a hair of the head shall not be lost; but all things shall be restored to their proper and perfect frame.

We have so many reasons to rejoice in what our bodies can do!  More and more, I have taken the focus off of what my body looks like and just appreciate the many miraculous things it can accomplish.  I created life four times with my husband.  I can sing, play the piano, dance, cook, swim, and more.  Some things have become harder as my body ages, but I know this is just a short part of eternity.  I will get to enjoy a perfect, pain free body later.  I see wrinkles and gray hair as a wonderful reminder that we have been blessed with more time with our families here. 

Over the last year I started to push myself more physically, deciding to resume some activities I used to do.  I did it in memory of my aunt who was bedridden or wheel chair bound for years.  How I wish she were here holding her grandbabies with wrinkles and gray hair!  She didn’t complain and she still did some amazing things.  I decided I was going to appreciate what I could do, even if it caused pain.  I participated in one of those Thriller events and it was a blast.  I then accepted an exercise bike from a friend and decided I wanted the real thing.  It had been over a decade since I rode a bike and I wanted to love it again.  I was given a beautiful, old fashioned bike for my birthday and it made me feel like a kid again.  One of my sons could hardly wait to go for a ride with me.  I’m laughing at the bruises I have from that old familiar feeling, accidentally banging my legs with the pedals.  I wear them proudly because they are a sign that I’m getting out there and doing something I love without caring what people think about the grown woman on the pink bike.  And of course taking pictures of my son on it for blackmail.

And yes, I just ordered a basket, streamers, and a bell.  How could I resist?

Between Facebook, Twitter, and others sites, I have seen a lot of questions and comments about Mormons and their new commercials.  Stuff like:

“I don’t get it.  What’s with these Mormon commercials?”

“Why are Mormons taking over my TV?”

“Is this because of Mitt Romney running for president?”

“What’s with the PR push?”

I just found one on Twitter asking why we have commercials featuring “black people” when we just barely let them into the church!  Hahaha!!!  OK, point proven that there are still misconceptions and stereotypes about our church that just aren’t true.  That is the purpose of these commercials – to show that we are quite diverse.  We have different cultures, backgrounds, trials, etc.  Some of us have had some pretty rough childhoods.  Others stray for a while and come back.  The church is for everyone.  These commercials don’t advertise a phone number to call for more information or a free copy of The Book of Mormon like we’ve seen in years past.  It’s just a personal look at individuals who happen to be Mormon and I think it’s funny how many people are perplexed by it.  Surely there must be an ulterior motive!  No, this is us defining ourselves.  Letting others do it has become tiresome.

No, this doesn’t have to do with politics.  The church doesn’t endorse candidates.  There has been a lot in the media lately about the church like The Book of Mormon Musical.  The church responded by putting up ads in Times Square and on taxi cabs.  People still associate us with groups like FLDS and assume we’re polygamists.  They assume we’re racists.   They think the women are all barefoot and pregnant.  You know, in the kitchen where we spend all day canning preserves. 

I think if I were a non-Mormon seeing these commercials for the first time, I might think, “Oh, I could be talking to a lot more Mormons than I realized.”

Brandon Flowers (lead singer of The Killers) was featured in one of the “I’m a Mormon” commercials, much to the surprise of many people.  You can watch it here.  Yes, he made some choices that lead people to believe he was ex-Mormon, which bothered him, but he’s making it clear that he is a Mormon.

Other famous Mormons include Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite), Gladys Knight, Rick Schroder, Stephenie Meyer (author of Twilight), David Archuleta, Steven R. Covey (author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, and of course, The Osmonds.  I am personally dying to see a commercial made by Jon Heder.  GOSH!!!!

There you have it – the mystery behind the “I’m a Mormon” commercials.  Which one is your favorite?  You can view more at mormon.org.

This week my husband lost his grandmother – his last remaining grandparent.  She lived without her husband these last ten years and has been missing her mother since she was 12.  She remained strong for quite a few years until she had to go into a nursing home due to repeated falls.  She was as sharp as a tack until the day she died though.  We were able to visit her last summer and have a delightful conversation.  She was so grateful to see us even though we came straight from our camping trip.  We just didn’t want to put it off another moment since it had been so long since we had seen her.

There were mixed emotions with her passing.  I don’t think anyone is ever ready to lose someone so close.  No one can replace our loved ones.  But there was also comfort because of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.  We sincerely believe that she is happily reunited with family and that she will be resurrected and have a body that fully functions again.  She fell so many times trying to do things on her own in the nursing home and kept trying even though she broke several bones.  It fills me with so much joy to know that her body will be restored and will never have to suffer like that again.

I don’t know how I would handle such loss without the knowledge that there is life after death.  It’s not the end, but the beginning of so many amazing things we can’t even comprehend.  Still, it seems like such a long separation when we lose someone so wonderful.

This is one of my favorite scriptures to read in The Book of Mormon and one that is displayed where my relatives are buried.  It has always been such a comfort to me.    Alma 40:23:

The ^asoul shall be ^brestored to the ^cbody, and the body to the soul; yea, and every limb and joint shall be restored to its body; yea, even a ^dhair of the head shall not be lost; but all things shall be restored to their proper and ^eperfect frame.

This scripture has also helped me not to worry about the effects of aging because I know my body will be perfect again.  I wouldn’t mind being like my husband’s grandma someday with a head full of white hair and lots of wrinkles.  It just shows that she lived a full live and worked hard.  And having lost people I love at young ages, I’m going to embrace my wrinkles and gray hair with gratitude because I got to live long enough to have them.

I’m so grateful for our Savior who made it possible for us to live again with Him and our Father in Heaven.

My husband and I have taught our kids about temples, but we have been surprised by how much they mean to them already.  When my oldest son was two, he pointed to our temple in excitement as we drove by and I couldn’t remember talking to him about it before.  He didn’t know what it was, so I told him, “That’s the temple!  That’s where Mommy and Daddy got married.”

Taking a walk around the grounds is one of their favorite things to do and whenever they are given blocks to play with, they choose to build temples with them.  Even our 2-year-old daughter stacks them up and says, “I made a temple!”  I love that they are so fascinated by a place they have never been in.  Some children are given that opportunity if their parents weren’t sealed before they were born.  Otherwise they wait until they are twelve to participate in baptisms for the dead.  Still, they only go to one specific part and will wait years still before they are endowed and sealed to their spouse.

I was about four when our temple was dedicated and I still remember attending the open house.  I had protective booties over my shoes and even though I couldn’t see much due to so many tall adults around me, I knew we were in a special place.  Eight years later I finally got to see the baptismal font and take part in being baptized on behalf of people who had passed away.  This is called baptism by proxy.  We believe that the person on the other side of the veil decides whether they accept the ordinance or not.  It’s not forced on them.

There is added joy in doing the work for your own relatives and we are encouraged to do our family history and gather more names of loved ones who never had the chance to accept the Gospel.  We believe what Christ taught, that a man must be born of water and of the Spirit to enter into the Kingdom of God.  We also believe that temple work is what makes it possible for everyone to have that opportunity.

A year ago today, it was my son’s 8th birthday and we were able to take our kids on a tour of Temple Square in Salt Lake City.  It was a wonderful experience teaching them about the sacrifices that were made in order to build that temple.  Last week in Primary, we learned about pioneers and the amazing things they did to build and protect these sacred buildings.  To drive in an air conditioned van to see such a historical site was a blessing.  Even walking from where we parked to the visitors center, I just couldn’t comprehend how anyone traveled so far and built such an amazing structure in that heat.

One of our privileges in our church is to feed our missionaries who serve all over the world.  Having four children, I know there will be awesome people who take care of them someday when they go on their own missions, so I become borderline giddy when we have the opportunity to have our elders over, especially since I love cooking.  I like to think of meals that they usually won’t get to have.  I would hate to be the third person that week to serve them spaghetti.

So, on the menu tonight are spare ribs (the aroma is filling my home right now), corn on the cob, watermelon, and strawberry lemonade made from scratch.  You should have seen the look on their faces when I told them I was making ribs!  They looked so happy.  One day they stopped by and were quite tickled when I just happened to have some Krispy Kremes and some cans of lemonade.  They were hungry and I sent them on their merry way with those.  Thank goodness.  The last thing I need is a doughnut.

I love the spirit they bring into our home and it’s funny how excited the kids get when they come.  It’s near impossible to get them to be quiet though when it’s time for the missionaries to share a message with us, so last night we prepped them as to how we expect them to behave when they arrive.

On one hand, I don’t want my kids to leave the nest ever, but then I also look forward to hearing about the people they meet wherever they end up serving.  I admire families who do such a great job taking care of the missionaries.  My husband’s family was one and it was quite the coincidence to find out that when he was 17, he took my brother to run errands while he was on his mission in Germany.

The elders are also so sweet as they offer to help us with anything we might need.  The lemonade is mixed, the ribs are almost done slow cooking, and I still have some watermelon and corn to prepare.  Bonus:  My husband took our four kids on a hike and I got to prepare this meal in sweet silence!  This is also a great way to spend our Family Home Evening

Recently I had the opportunity to chaperon a field trip for my son and as I got to know one of the other moms and had a lot of laughs, we discovered we were both into singing.  We decided that we should get together to sing sometime soon.  As we discussed our background, I explained how I was sad that my favorite choir was only a seasonal thing for Christmas and was jealous of my sister who is a part of a choir similar to The Mormon Tabernacle Choir.

She asked, “Oh, are you Mormon?”

I thought, “Oh boy.  Where is this gonna go?”  I run into such a wide range of responses and was hoping this wouldn’t be of the, “You’re going to Hell” variety.

I was very pleased to hear that she is a Jehovah’s Witness because they are always respectful of my beliefs and have encountered probably the same amount of grief when it comes to people bashing and misrepresenting our beliefs.  We actually have a lot of common ground and I like to focus on that.  I was sad for her when she said an audition didn’t go her way as soon as the director found out she wouldn’t be able to participate in their Christmas concerts.  I guess I can see his perspective because that is a large focus in choirs, but it doesn’t provide a lot of opportunities for Jehovah’s witnesses to sing.  I remember friends of mine sitting out during school and looking like they felt awkward about it.

So, she came over one morning and we had a wonderful time singing together!  I appreciated how she skipped over one part of a song because it takes the Lord’s name in vain.  I said, “I feel the same way!”  Just one more thing we have in common.  I also joked, “Hey, not celebrating Christmas saves you a ton of money!”  She said, “And stress!”  Yeah, that’s so true.  I do love Christmas, but it does get very overwhelming.

I’m looking forward to a long and beautiful friendship.  I have been blessed with some wonderful interfaith relationships that mean the world to me and our beliefs have never gotten in the way of our love for each other.  I forgot to ask her about my favorite couple that used to come to our door every month.  They were very sweet and respectful, offering to help me when they could see I had my hands full.

I would love to hear about your interfaith friendships.

This weekend was another wonderful General Conference!  I’m still trying to find time to listen to the messages again because I had to miss one session for a funeral and my kids were acting up off and on as we listened at home.  What I did get to hear, I loved so much!

It’s hard to choose a favorite, but I think I was most touched by Elder Richard G. Scott.  I always appreciate the way he talks about his wife who passed away years ago.  He shared a story with us about something he learned from her.  He had been away on business for two weeks and when he returned, he found her washing the clothes by hand because their small washer had broken.  Wanting to help her, he went straight to work on it, but she told him she wanted him to go play with the children.  She thought that took priority.

He said he had a wonderful time playing with them and one morning he woke up to one of his children kissing him and whispering, “I love you.”  Sure, he could have fixed the washer out of love for his family, but that’s not exactly the way children develop a bond with their fathers.  They need to play with their dads.  He was grateful for her suggestion.  I think it was also Elder Scott who told us his wife gave him advice on how to relate to others better because he wasn’t good about making eye contact.  He didn’t get offended by her because he knew she had his best interest in mind.

Going to my friend’s funeral, it was also shared how important it is just to be together.  In his last moments, that’s all he wanted – to be surrounded by his children.  Just to have them sit next to him in a chair meant more to him than he had ever imagined before.  His daughter said it was odd too that he said such sincere things because their family used sarcasm quite a bit.  She found herself saying sincere things back to him.  I was looking forward to the messages at conference, but that was another message I needed to hear that day.  I think sarcasm is used too much.  I need to take more time to look into my children’s eyes and tell them very sincerely how much I love them, not assuming that they know it.  That was another message from Elder Scott.  We need to hug our loved ones often and tell them that.

There were so many great things to here at this conference.  If you are interested, you can listen here.

I was pretty amused recently when the accusation was made that the church uses uniforms to control the way members behave.  The accuser then posted a bunch of links on a discussion forum about studies supporting his position – that the church just wants us to conform.

Is conformity automatically a negative thing?  I can think of many examples of good conformity.

We conform to laws.  The rules of the road are very important and people don’t tend to take issue with driving on the right side (or left depending on what country you’re in) since they don’t want to get in a head on collision.  There is certainly wisdom in traffic lights too.  Does it take away my individuality to conform in this way?  No.

Music.  As I learned in music theory, the definition of music is “organized sound”.  Unorganized sound is simply noise.  Being in many choirs, it was a privilege to follow the direction of our conductor so we could make the best organized sound possible.  We tried hard to match each other’s tone, rhythm, tempo, dynamics, etc.  When we were unified, it was the best feeling in the world.  We also wore uniforms that minmize distractions during a concert and help us feel more at one with each other.

Sports.  You see uniforms in those all the time, yet I have never heard anyone make an accusation that the players are being controlled.  It’s a sign that you’re a part of your team.

Dance.  Again, go to a ballet recital and you’re likely to see little girls all wearing the same thing.  It’s adorable.

Work uniforms.  I appreciate an obvious work uniform in a store so I know who to ask for help.

Boy Scouts or Campfire Girls.  I know how I loved wearing a uniform with my friends.  I felt so included that way.  No one had better clothes than anyone else and it helped us remember who we were and what our purpose was.

Back to Mormonism and “uniforms”.  I don’t think wearing your Sunday best really qualifies.  There is a huge variety, especially among women.  Guys are encouraged to wear suits and often white shirts for priesthood ordinances, but colors and ties vary.  In the temple we all wear white, but it’s not all exactly the same thing.  It’s one of my favorite things, as if we’re walking around in Heaven.  It’s such a wonderful place to reflect and nice not to even think about the latest fashions.  It’s a reminder that we are all children of God and on equal ground.

Furthermore, I have never met any two Mormons who think exactly the same about anything.  If the church is trying to control us by suggesting appropriate apparel or special clothing for ordinances, it’s not working very well.  We still have an array of opinions, talents, tastes, and interests.

Tonight we had a Family Home Evening lesson on preparing for the temple.   Next year our oldest son will get to go there for the first time and we talked about how you prepare and the reasons we should do so.  We asked the kids what the temple is for.  They said, “It’s where you get married.”  That is one important part, but definitely not all.  I joked with them, “Your dad goes to the temple every week.  Does he go there to get married?” 

Preparing for the temple isn’t just about being allowed to enter.  It helps us with many aspects of our lives.  We talked about what the bishop asks when you have an interview for a temple recommend, explaining that when our son turns 12 next year, he will meet with him.

Do you have a testimony of Jesus Christ?

Do you obey the Word of Wisdom?

Do you live the Law of Chastity?

Do you keep the commandments?

Those are just a few.  We talked about how even when we’re young, we can make the right choices.  It won’t be long before all of our kids get to attend the temple with the rest of the youth in our congregation to do baptisms for the dead.  They were a little surprised to learn too that going to the temple is part of preparing for a mission.

We talked about being sealed together as a family and how wonderful that is, but that it takes work to keep a marriage and family together.  Living the Gospel helps us have a happier family.  We also taught them about family history and that everything we do in the temple can also be done on behalf of our ancestors. 

Just for fun, we asked the boys what kind of wife they wanted when they grew up.  My oldest son said, “I want someone who’s nice, but not too nice.”  Then he said he wanted a wife like me.  That’s so sweet and reassuring!  I try to be the best mom, disciplining while making it apparent that I do love them.  I’m grateful my son sees the wisdom in why I give the consequences I do.  He also said that he would like a wife who cooks, but he wants to cook too.  I also asked them what kind of husbands they want to be.   I loved their answers.  They want to be nice husbands, but my 6-year-old wants a wife who works and lets him stay home.  Haha!  I’m not surprised.  He has an aversion to work that I am trying to cure him of.

I hope all of our kids will have a desire to serve in the Lord’s House and have a strong testimony of Jesus Christ.

A little over a week ago, we had our wonderful General Conference weekend.  What stands out the most to me now is President Uchtdorf’s talk called “Of Things That Matter the Most“.  I loved this talk because:

1.  He pokes fun at himself.  That’s one of my favorite qualities.  In many talks, he has used airplane analogies because he was a pilot.  In this talk, he hadn’t yet mentioned airplanes and he said:

At this point some of you may be thinking, “That’s all very fine and good, but what does it have to do with flying an airplane?” Well, let me tell you.

Hilarious.

You also won’t find this in the transcript, but he started coughing, took a drink of water, still struggled a bit, and he had just started talking about foundational needs.  He said, “I lost my voice!  It’s one of my foundational needs!” 

2.  He gives very wise counsel, telling us that virtues can become a vice.  Overscheduling yourself can become a problem.

3.  This phrase alone was very valuable to me:

In family relationships love is really spelled t-i-m-e, time. Taking time for each other is the key for harmony at home. We talk with, rather than about, each other. We learn from each other, and we appreciate our differences as well as our commonalities. We establish a divine bond with each other as we approach God together through family prayer, gospel study, and Sunday worship.

This talk meant a lot to me.  I worry often that my kids are missing out in life because I don’t have them enrolled in enough enriching activities, but I haven’t done so because it would severely limit my time with them and for financial reasons too.  I want to have well rounded children who are gifted academically and keep their bodies active, but I feel that can be achieved without competitive sports and as a family.  They do need more time with me and individual attention too.  I have seen how time alone with me and my husband is one of the things they consider their favorite rewards.

I also want us to have the time to serve others and teach my children to do so, which is harder to do if I’m running them all over town.  My 8-year-old keeps asking me to teach him piano and I haven’t made the time for that on a regular basis.  I need to give him a time slot that is his and nothing else will take priority over, except for emergencies.

I need more time to teach my children the Gospel.  This was a beautiful and attention maintaining talk.  What was your favorite?  If you haven’t had a chance to listen, I highly recommend you visit the new conference site here and learn about what we Mormons are talking about.