Mormon Bloggers

I watched this video a while back with my boys called Two Brothers Apart.  Two boys named Luke and Sam are followed for 5,000 days and are interviewed, partially about their relationship with each other.  There was a lot of sibling rivalry in our home at the time between our boys.  Hurtful things were said, teasing, provoking, hitting, etc.  At times I wondered if they had any loving feelings towards each other and it was so hard.  I told them that how they were treating each other now could affect them for their whole lives.  I knew grown men who held grudges over ridiculous things, affecting not only them but everyone who loved them.  No one wanted to choose sides in their feuds.

During our Family Home Evening, I asked them to write down their feelings about the video.  It was hard to get any serious answers out of them, much to my frustration, but I repeated since then how they need to treat each other with love and respect.  Like these boys Luke and Sam, emotions started to surface and one of my more private and closed off sons poured his heart out about how he felt when his brothers were mean to him.  He wrote me a letter about how he loves them, but he was filled with such anger, it made him feel like a monster.  I think we have made progress, but there is still a lot of work to do.  Yesterday we had our parent teacher conferences.  My 7-year-old read a story he wrote about the best Christmas present he received from his brother.  My 9-year-old said, “He wrote something nice.  Now I feel bad because I wrote a story about my brothers breaking my violin.”

I can’t watch the video about Luke and Sam without crying, especially when they start to cry.  It’s also very encouraging that one event could completely turn things around, my boys becoming best friends when they’re older.  I haven’t been able to emphasize enough that even when they are adults, they will need each other and I wouldn’t stand for any grudges being held.  No matter how far apart they live, I hope they will always be able to call on each other for help and support each other during a crisis. 

How do you help your children to be best friends with each other?  Please share your experiences!