Mormon Bloggers

We have the most awesome women in our congregation who planned a wonderful Halloween party.  They didn’t have much of a budget to work with, but they are so creative, they made it so much fun and used things they already had from previous parties.  They have been known to plan Halloween parties for three months.

They covered the long tables at the church with butcher paper and used burlap runners down the middle with some homemade centerpieces.  There were stuffed pumpkins and jars filled with beans and those little electric candles.  They had carnival games in one part of the gym, a family of scarecrows to greet people (looked like our bishop’s family), and the stage was set up for the youth to play games without small children bothering them.  Dinner was a potluck of macaroni and cheese, soups, chili, and salad.  Dessert was the mass amounts of candy handed out at the trunk or treat.

I loved the costumes, including the last minute ones.  One boy carried a purse and said he was a purse snatcher.  I dressed as a zombie because I danced to Thriller later that evening down at our town center.  I think that would be fun to do with our whole congregation one year.  It’s great exercise and it’s hard to do without smiling.  I would crack up while practicing and catch myself grinning again.

There were prizes for the best trunks at the trunk or treat.  My husband got a little frustrated trying to decorate his truck at the last minute.  It was filled with so many things from work, camping, etc., he had to empty it out and then he was running short on time.  Kids still talk about a couple years ago when he scared them all.  He used a black light, painted glow in the dark paint on his face, and would pop out and hand the kids candy.  If they didn’t know him before, he is now pointed out as being that freaky guy in the truck.  We’ll have to plan better next year and do the scariest one ever.

Tonight I have fun things planned for my kids – a night of Halloween movies, hot chocolate, and “mummy dogs”.  You wrap hot dogs in Pillsbury dough and bake it.  It’s pretty tasty and fun.  My oldest son is home sick.  What a disappointment for him, but I bought him some of his favorite candy and ice cream too.  I better finish planning the festivities! 

What are your Halloween plans?

Last week our Family Home Evening was about developing our talents.  We talked about how Heavenly Father wants us to use them and make them even better so we can serve Him and others.  I believe we all have talents hiding that we don’t even know about yet, but many times they can only be discovered by sticking with it.  Just because you don’t get it instantly like another person doesn’t mean that you can’t become outstanding at it.

My nine-year-old son is learning to play the violin and he gets somewhat frustrated that he can’t get it to sound how he wants it to, but I assured him it will get better with lots of practice.  Many kids in the class feel lost and struggle to position their instruments correctly or read the notes.  Some kids still haven’t figured out how to work their music stands!  It’s been only about a month and it’s a pretty chaotic time, but I know that many of those kids can be great if they pay attention and practice every day.

I can’t really take credit for my talents because God gave them to me, but I have put in the time and effort.  When I sit down to play a song on the piano that I have never seen before, one of my students exclaims, “That’s not fair!”  I said, “Sure it’s fair.  I practiced every single day without my parents telling me to.  Sometimes for hours.”  True prodigies are rare.  My ability came from sweat and tears (thankfully no blood).

I’m 36 years old and I’m not convinced that I’m done finding new talents.  As a teenager, I never thought I would be into cooking, but one day I picked up a cookbook as a newlywed and I really got into it over time.  It’s a form of art for me and if it doesn’t turn out beautiful, we can eat the evidence, unlike the things I have attempted to sew.

Because they didn’t get it right away, my boys have been against learning how to ride their bikes, but I forced the issue and finally, I offered them each $10.  That evening they were both determined to do it and now they are asking to ride every day.  Now they have a good example of worthwhile things being hard to learn and I hope that will translate into other areas of their life.

I’ve been learning the dance to Thriller.  My son joked, “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”  I said, “Watch me!”  I’ve got it down and I’m ready to join the other zombies this Saturday.  It helps that that dance requires no grace, but I would like to learn all sorts of dances.  I have the coordination and rhythm, probably from playing the piano, and I want to see what else my body can do.  Perhaps this is my version of a midlife crisis.  If so, it’s a fun way to have it. 

In addition to doing something new, I have taken on some very challenging piano pieces and continue to expand myself in that way.  As long as I live, I will never call it done.

What talents are you developing?

Between Facebook, Twitter, and others sites, I have seen a lot of questions and comments about Mormons and their new commercials.  Stuff like:

“I don’t get it.  What’s with these Mormon commercials?”

“Why are Mormons taking over my TV?”

“Is this because of Mitt Romney running for president?”

“What’s with the PR push?”

I just found one on Twitter asking why we have commercials featuring “black people” when we just barely let them into the church!  Hahaha!!!  OK, point proven that there are still misconceptions and stereotypes about our church that just aren’t true.  That is the purpose of these commercials – to show that we are quite diverse.  We have different cultures, backgrounds, trials, etc.  Some of us have had some pretty rough childhoods.  Others stray for a while and come back.  The church is for everyone.  These commercials don’t advertise a phone number to call for more information or a free copy of The Book of Mormon like we’ve seen in years past.  It’s just a personal look at individuals who happen to be Mormon and I think it’s funny how many people are perplexed by it.  Surely there must be an ulterior motive!  No, this is us defining ourselves.  Letting others do it has become tiresome.

No, this doesn’t have to do with politics.  The church doesn’t endorse candidates.  There has been a lot in the media lately about the church like The Book of Mormon Musical.  The church responded by putting up ads in Times Square and on taxi cabs.  People still associate us with groups like FLDS and assume we’re polygamists.  They assume we’re racists.   They think the women are all barefoot and pregnant.  You know, in the kitchen where we spend all day canning preserves. 

I think if I were a non-Mormon seeing these commercials for the first time, I might think, “Oh, I could be talking to a lot more Mormons than I realized.”

Brandon Flowers (lead singer of The Killers) was featured in one of the “I’m a Mormon” commercials, much to the surprise of many people.  You can watch it here.  Yes, he made some choices that lead people to believe he was ex-Mormon, which bothered him, but he’s making it clear that he is a Mormon.

Other famous Mormons include Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite), Gladys Knight, Rick Schroder, Stephenie Meyer (author of Twilight), David Archuleta, Steven R. Covey (author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, and of course, The Osmonds.  I am personally dying to see a commercial made by Jon Heder.  GOSH!!!!

There you have it – the mystery behind the “I’m a Mormon” commercials.  Which one is your favorite?  You can view more at mormon.org.

I think every parent runs into major stumbling blocks with each of their children, causing us to search through countless parenting books looking for the right answer.  The trouble is, every child is so different, sometimes a book just won’t cover their particular issues. 

My second son had been having many meltdowns and I went looking for help.  One book suggested lots and lots of praise.  I thought it sounded like a great idea and something that should be pretty obvious.  So I tried hard to notice all of the positive things he was doing and when I told him, “Good job!” he screamed at me, “DON’T SAY GOOD JOB!  GOOD JOB IS A BAD WORD!”

I was stunned.  I had tried everything to calm him down and even a compliment brought on intense rage.  As I learned more about my son, especially with experiences at preschool, I realized he didn’t want any attention drawn towards him unless it was something he initiated.  As I prayed about what to do, I felt inspired just to back off a lot, let him have his solitude, and he eventually would ask me, “Did I do a good job, Mom?”  That was permission to praise him.  My first son loved praise, so this completely threw me off.

With my first son, he would not stop waking up his baby brother who was a very light sleeper.  He knew if he cried, I would pick him up and then we could go to the park or something.  He couldn’t stand being stuck at home, plus he wanted to play with his brother.  I tried everything books suggested – time-outs, taking away consequences, etc., but he just kept doing it.  All it took was someone touching the doorknob for my baby to wake up, so as he headed for the door, I said, “NO. DON’T YOU DARE.”  He looked at me, paused, and then he grabbed the doorknob.  The crying on the other side of the door resumed immediately and I was exhausted.  I had prayed about how to handle this particular issue and it suddenly hit me.

Make him sit there until my baby goes back to sleep. 

He hated to hear him cry.  I said, “Put your back against the door.  You have to stay there until your brother falls back to sleep.”  He looked horrified.  It was at least 10 minutes and he would ask, “Will you pick him up?”  “Nope.”  Then he would inch away from the door and I told him to get back where he was.  It was painful and it felt mean, but he never woke him up on purpose again.  My baby needed to sleep and I desperately needed him to sleep since he woke up every one to two hours all night long.

I wasn’t going to find that in any book since it was so specific.  There are endless issues that can keep us guessing and I’ve found that personal revelation is the greatest help I have as a mother.  I take my problems to Heavenly Father and sometimes the answer will pop into my head.  Other times I feel inspired to mention it to a specific person and they will come up with a genius solution in a heartbeat.

Last Saturday while we were listening to General Conference in our living room, I surprised the kids with doughnuts and hot chocolate.  I told my 9-year-old that the hot chocolate was ready and he disappeared a while later.  I found him in his room and he was slumped over a bed crying.  I asked him what was wrong and he didn’t want to tell me.  He finally said that he was upset because I didn’t get him any hot chocolate.  I said, “The blue mug is for you.”  “Well how was I supposed to know that!”  “You could have asked which one was yours.”  I said.

I guess he was too hurt and convinced that I had forgotten him.  How sad!  But it wasn’t just about the hot chocolate.  He has become very sensitive when it comes to fighting with his brothers and getting in trouble.  When I get annoyed at him, he feels like I don’t love him.  We’ve talked about this before and I told him I love him no matter what, but it’s not sinking in.  At the moment, he just forgets all of the things I have done and said to show love.  He also doesn’t see that his brothers also get in trouble, but usually for different things.  I told him we all have weaknesses, but we still love each other.

He sobbed for a long time and I really didn’t know what to do.  I knelt beside him and said a silent prayer.  How could I help him?  What would help him know that he is loved just as much as anyone else in our family?  An idea suddenly came to me and I said, “What if you kept a journal where you write down things every day that we do to show you love?”

We talked about some things and he started to smile.  Yes, when I take him to orchestra at 7:30am and stay there to help him, it’s because I love him. When I make his favorite meal, it’s because I love him.  When I stay up past midnight blowing up balloons for his birthday, it’s because I love him.  I also say it to him every day.  He has started recognizing more the things we all do to show him love and I told him when he’s having a bad day, he can read his journal and realize that it outweighs the times we get upset with him. 

It’s been a pretty pleasant week, but I’m still praying about things that will continue to help him.