Mormon Bloggers

My oldest son and my best friend have their birthdays within a couple days of each other, so it was a very action packed week.  My son turned 12, which is very significant when you’re Mormon.  Boys receive the Aaronic Priesthood when they turn 12 and they get to pass the sacrament.

My best friend turned an undisclosed age.  She insists she is aging in reverse, so last year she was 29.  This year she is 28.  She was 29 for about three or for years before that too.  She does look quite young, so maybe lying about your age is the key to staying young.

Anyway, my son has talked a lot about all of the gift cards and money he wants for his birthday.  I wondered just how rich he thought we were.  I was also a little sad because his days of wanting just simple toys are over.  I also wanted to make sure I got him something special to celebrate receiving the priesthood.  To lessen the boredom of giving him just money or gift cards, I sent him on a treasure hunt.  With the silly clues I wrote, he found money all over the house and then the last clue sent him to the church.  He had Scouts that night, so we needed to go there anyway.  The last thing he found was a leather bound set of scriptures with his name engraved on them.  We gave him some paperback ones when he was 8, so he was excited.  I was relieved that he was so pleased with it and feared he would say something like, “You could have bought me a Wii game instead.”  No, his reaction was, “YES!”

The next day we had our friend over for dinner and that was a huge production.  I have her over every week and I wanted this to be special.  My nine-year-old son dressed up as her date, I made authentic looking menus, and turned our place into a jazz restaurant.  I put a little star by the things my son was supposed to order for her.  He loves getting dressed up in his suit, so that’s why he won that role.  My other boys were the manager and the server.  My three-year-old daughter was a random customer who threw tantrums for about two hours while I was trying to get dinner ready.

My friend loved the dinner so much with the candles, fancy napkins, and roses.  She felt very special and said it was the first date she’s had in years.  If I had money, I would have taken her to the jazz restaurant she loves, but this was probably even more fun.

What’s the best surprise you have ever had?

Six days ago I lost one of my best friends to asthma.  I have spent the week trying to do everything I can to support her family, especially her four children that she left behind.  She was a single mother and now her kids have to figure out where they are going to live.  Her oldest is 20 and going through school.  Her youngest just started high school.  Due to her constant health battles, she was on disability and lived in Section 8 housing, but she was always trying to get back on her feet.  She had a strong desire to work, but her asthma put her in the hospital repeatedly.  She started a new job just three weeks before she passed away and she was so happy about it, but also so drained.

I was very hopeful that her daughter could have the lease transferred to her, but she has to be 21 in order for that to happen, so not only do the kids have to deal with the loss of their mother, they have until the end of the month to find a new place to live and figure out what to do with all of their belongings.  I’m afraid they will feel forced to part with her things before they are ready.

I wish I had money.  I wish I had a storage unit to offer them.  As for right now, all I can offer is an occasional meal, hugs, prayers, and laughter.  I was relieved when I got them laughing earlier this week.  I realized they are strong, but I’m still worried things are just going to get harder.  Wherever they end up, I will be there for them somehow to listen, give advice about dating, school, marriage, or the babies they will have someday.

I have known this sweet family for over nine years now and it’s just so hard to imagine life without their mom.  I hate to sound so cliche, but I really do believe she will be their angel and will be able to help them in ways she couldn’t before.  I have never seen a mom try harder than she did or a woman come through terrible trials with such a positive attitude.  She recently posted a picture on Facebook that said, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass.  It’s about learning to dance in the rain.”  I was going through her photo album and when I found that, I thought, “That just describes her perfectly!”

No matter what was going on, she found things to be happy about and told people she loved them left and right.  I hope the outpouring of love towards her children will continue for the long haul.  I believe it will because she loved others so much.  How could we not support and comfort her children?

My kids just started school last week and I am trying so hard to stay on top of everything, but it’s overwhelming.  We’re trying to get back into our routine while adding new things.  I have no idea how parents do it when they both work full time and have their kids enrolled in multiple sports, music lessons, etc. on top of getting homework done.

Every year, my husband gives the kids and I a blessing before school starts.  The kids asked, “Why does Mom need one?”

Hahahahahaha!

WHY DOES MOM NEED ONE?!

Hmmm …..  Let’s see …….

I stayed up until 1am filling out all forms I received times three and then some, only to have some forms not actually make it to their destination.

I listen to children complaining and fighting every morning about their lunches.  “I don’t want honey!  I hate honey!”  “I hate jelly!”  “I hate peanut butter sandwiches!”  “I hate sandwich bags!  My sandwich gets squished!”  “I CAN’T FIND A STUPID LID FOR THIS TUPPERWARE!”  “Why do you need tupperware?” I asked.  “BECAUSE MY SANDWICH WILL GET SQUISHED!!!!”  “Ya know what?  I used sandwich bags from 1st grade through high school and I survived just fine.”

In addition to two curriculum nights, I went to an orchestra meeting where I discovered the cost of a violin and spent many hours trying to figure out how exactly we were going to afford that after we just spent $200 on school supplies, still have to pay for planners, picture day, and more.  Then I will have to wake up my budding violinist at 7am to get to practice on time, hopefully fed rather than handing him a banana or toast as we’re running out the door.

All of this I have to do with a 3-year-old who screams at the top of her lungs when she doesn’t get her way and is no longer used to hanging out with Mom by herself.  Entertaining her is difficult and she tells me, “I want my brothers back.”

Keeping the kids out of the snacks and other foods for lunches is next to impossible and when my daughter can’t have them, she screams.  Nevermind that I offer her plenty of other things, even better things.  “I WANT A JUICE BOX!  I WANT A JUICE BOX!”  “How about some chocolate milk?”  “NOOOOOOO!!!!  I WANT A JUICE BOX!”  “Those are for your brothers’ lunches.”  “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!” 

Often my daughter takes a nap and I have to wake her up to get her brother’s from school, which is also quite unpleasant.

My oldest son is the worst about waking up, so that’s another obstacle to getting the kids to school on time.

I’m also teaching piano lessons four days a week after school, so getting my kids to do their homework can be pretty tricky.  Then there’s dinner.  And no matter what, someone will complain about what I make.  In fact, it will definitely ruin someone’s life completely.

Potty training my daughter also complicates everything quite a bit.  She’s been dry at night, but during the day she gets distracted and keeps emptying her bladder all over the floor, my piano bench, chairs, and other places.

Of course, we can’t forget the doctor appointments that spring up at random times and sicknesses that throw everything off.

Mom needs a blessing so she won’t lose her mind.  I didn’t even list everything.  My brain is too fried to think right now, but I’m really grateful for the blessing I received from my husband.  He told me Heavenly Father would help me think of creative ways to manage our schedule.  I’m looking forward to that as things settle down.

How is your new school year going?

I was faced with a situation this week that made me sad and angry, but I also met some wonderful people who are on my side.  I am on a mailing list for a clothing company that previously had tasteful ads and I received their catalogs on a regular basis.  This week I suddenly received a catalog containing a very inappropriate cover and I was just fortunate that my kids didn’t see it.  Many customers though wrote to the company stating their children had gotten the mail for them and were very upset about what they were exposed to.

The company sent the same canned apology to everyone.  They were sorry for our displeasure and were only trying to help “curvy” women to feel empowered.

I’m a “curvy” woman and I have plenty of empowerment without being exposed to a group of half naked women on the cover of a catalog.  In fact, that doesn’t empower me at all.  No matter the size of the woman, I feel that when women parade their bodies around, they are degrading all of us and perpetuating the idea that we are sex objects, play things, just bodies for a man’s entertainment. 

I am so much more than that.  I am a daughter of God!  What could be more empowering than that?  I have God given talents and spiritual gifts.  I am a mom of four wonderful children and I have been given the responsibility of raising them in the Gospel and to be people who honor Jesus Christ, themselves, and each other.

No clothing ad (or lack of clothing ad) will ever give me a greater sense of individual worth.  I was thrilled to meet women of all religions through Twitter and Facebook also voicing their opposition to this marketing, one of which is a beautiful Christian model who is constantly promoting beauty with modesty.

As we and others told this company what we thought of their decision to send this catalog to our mailboxes, it was bizarre how other women reacted.  We were called prudes, sexually frustrated, and even told we were messing our children up by teaching them that the female body is “bad”. 

We never said that.  It’s maddening how people have twisted the issue and it makes my jaw drop that we are being attacked for simply wanting to protect our families.  They told us repeatedly to move on and accused us of not being actual customers, as if it’s such a foreign concept that many people would be upset by this.  Many times, it was repeated that our kids would see far worse on TV, walking down the street, and maybe even at school.  (No, I never see anything like what they displayed.)

So that means we’re just supposed to lay down and take it?  I believe if every moral parent banded together and demanded better from the people we give our hard earned money to, we could create big changes.  I will fight for my family until I’m dead, even if I’m the only one left who feels this way.

I can’t shield my kids from all immoral things, but they will see me trying and that will impact them.  To all my brothers and sisters who know this fight is worth it, thank you!  Never be silent when businesses use inappropriate marketing.