Love, my childhood
Archive for October, 2009
The Satisfaction of Creating
On October - 31 - 2009
Mission accomplished. The book is done.
At about 1 a.m. this morning, I sent the final pages back to my editor (Tristi Pinkston at Valor Publishing) for review and inclusion in the master copy of the manuscript. Changes were accepted. I can finally say, the book is done!
Copy editing is the next step to get it ready for typesetting, but those changes are expected to be minor. During the edit, Tristi mentioned that I must really like water because of some of the imagery in my book. Yep, I do. It is calming to me. I have spent some of my best thinking moments on the banks of a stream or river. So, the image above of a peaceful lake seemed appropriate for this post.
And if I must say so myself, the book is quite good, better than I had ever imagined when I started out on this writing journey. I look forward to seeing comments from my readers when the ARCs are sent out!
Oh. I almost forgot. If you want to experience the satisfaction one can only experience through the creative process, sign up for NaNoWriMo. It starts tomorrow!
Happy Halloween, everybody. I’m going to go celebrate by robbing candy from my children this evening. 
Note: The photo was taken by a friend of mine, or rather, adopted daughter, Stephanie Haven. She now has a website: http://stephaniehaven.com
OH! ONE MORE THING!!! Don’t go yet!
Valor Publishing is having a HUGE book launch party for Mark Shurtleff at the Barnes & Noble in the Gateway Mall, Salt Lake City, on Tuesday evening. For details, please click on the Valor link above. Everybody who is anybody is going to be there. Even some who are nobody (like me) will be there. Come say hi!
Halloween 2009
On October - 31 - 2009
We just had a wonderful Halloween with some of our best friends. Usually we will go to whatever ward (congregation) activity we are having, but having it on a Saturday was the perfect opportunity to go visit our friends a couple hours away and have 10+ hours of food, games, and other fun.
It was fun bringing my daughter into a house where girl toys dominate. She’s so used to being surrounded by dinosaurs, trucks, cars, planes, and action figures. She immediately took to my friend’s daughter’s doll and nurtured it while she wore her oversized bumblebee costume. It says it’s a size 4 and she’s only 14 months, but it gave plenty of room to dress warm underneath. We now know what to get her for Christmas – dinosaurs, trucks, cars, planes, and action figures. OK, maybe a doll. It was s0 cute how she was making everyone kiss it and even funnier when she kept trying to climb into the little car seat.
My best friend and I were cracking-up the whole night between forcing each other to eat foods we don’t like (I made stuffed mushrooms and she made bacon wrapped water chestnuts) and the teenagers who showed up to trick or treat with no costumes. In fact, they didn’t even say, “Trick or treat.” They just stood there and said, “Hi.” It’s really tempting in that situation to tell them to beat it, but my friend made them do a dance if they wanted some candy. One kid decided on “I’m a Little Teapot” and his friend decided the candy wasn’t important enough to humiliate himself.
Note to teenagers: If you’re too old to put on a costume for Halloween, you’re too old to be going door to door asking for candy. Chances are, you have a way of earning your own money and buying your own candy.
After the door knocking and door bell ringing died down, we had a wonderful time playing some games and eating some Death by Chocolate. It was definitely the best Halloween we had in a long time.
What did you do for Halloween?
Atualizado o Manual Princípios do Evangelho
On October - 31 - 2009
Os Princípios do Evangelho manual contém informações sobre os 47 princípios fundamentais do evangelho para estudo pessoal e de ensino. Em 2010 e 2011, este manual será utilizado em aulas de Melquisedeque e da Sociedade de Socorro, assim como a classe de Princípios do Evangelho para os investigadores e os novos membros. O manual está disponível online em vários formatos de mídia e linguagens.
Fonte: LDS.org
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Atualizado o Manual Princípios do Evangelho
On October - 31 - 2009
Os Princípios do Evangelho manual contém informações sobre os 47 princípios fundamentais do evangelho para estudo pessoal e de ensino. Em 2010 e 2011, este manual será utilizado em aulas de Melquisedeque e da Sociedade de Socorro, assim como a classe de Princípios do Evangelho para os investigadores e os novos membros. O manual está disponível online em vários formatos de mídia e linguagens.
Fonte: LDS.org
Cleon Skousen: Defender of God and Country
On October - 31 - 2009
I’ve really been delving into the writings of Cleon Skousen lately and started digging on the internet to learn more about this great defender of America and God. Truly, I am in awe of his mind and his immense patriotism and righteousness.
I found his obituary, which was amazing:
Obituary of W. Cleon SkousenW. Cleon Skousen, prolific supporter of God, country, and the unlimited potential for greatness in all people, passed away at his Salt Lake City home on January 9 of natural causes incident to age, just 11 days shy of his 93rd birthday. He was lovingly surrounded by his wife of 69 years, Jewel, and many family members.
The Making of AmericaKnown by millions for his devoted understanding and support of the U.S. Constitution, his love of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, his insights into politics, religion, good government, and human nature, he leaves behind an exhaustive work of scholarship created over three-quarters of a century that covers dozens of specialties. Among the 46 books he wrote are the best sellers, The Naked Communist, The Naked Capitalist, So You Want to Raise a Boy, The Making of America, The Five Thousand Year Leap, and Fantastic Victory about the Israel-Arab war of 1967.
His books on religion, such as The First 2,000 Years, Prophecy and Modern Times, Isaiah Speaks to Modern Times, Treasures from the Book of Mormon, and Days of the Living Christ, reached millions of readers in the Christian, Jewish and Islamic communities.
And his speech entitled “A Personal Search for the Meaning of the Atonement” is perhaps the most widely distributed audio tape among members and missionaries of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints-a fact that made him smile in astonishment. “I’ve had missionaries tell me that speech has been translated into Russian, Spanish, Portuguese, and French, and has been passed around on every continent where missionaries serve.”
Skousen served 16 years in J. Edgar Hoover’s FBI as an agent and the communications director during the waning years of the gangster era and WWII. He also was the editor of the nation’s leading police magazine, “Law And Order.”
He was a popular teacher of several thousand students at Brigham Young University for 16 years, and a popular speaker across the country where he sometimes gave as many as 300 speeches a year. His devotion to America’s founding fathers and the Constitution led to the creation of The Freeman Institute that later became the National Center for Constitutional Studies, an organization through which his speeches and writings educated and united large segments of voters to elect senators, congressmen, governors and presidents who loved the Constitution.
Known for his untiring devotion to principle and integrity, he served as Salt Lake City’s chief of police and created what Time Magazine called “A model police force.” After 4 years of service, the city mayor created a firestorm of protest when he fired Skousen on trumped-up charges, an event the mayor later called the worst political mistake of his life.
Warmly embraced with the friendly honorarium “a living national treasure,” Skousen and his wife maintained a modest home in Salt Lake City that became a mandatory stopover for any person with political aspirations both in Utah and beyond. Friends and visitors included ecclesiastical leaders of all faiths, politicians from all major parties, students of all ages, and of course, local missionaries every Sunday night.
Skousen was born in Raymond, Alberta, Canada on Jan. 20, 1913, and was educated in Canada, Mexico and the U.S. He served a 2-year mission for the LDS Church at age 17. He earned his PhD at George Washington University. He and Jewel are the parents of eight children, 50 grandchildren, and 67 great-grand children. He was preceded in death by three brothers and two sisters, his daughter Kathleen, two grandchildren, and one great-grand child. He is survived by his wife Jewel, and children David (Judy), Orem, UT; Eric (Cheryl), Orem, UT; Julianne (Glenn) Kimber, Alpine, UT; Sharon (Russ) Krey, Washington; Harold (Anne), Riverton, UT; Paul (Kathy), South Jordan, UT; Brent (Myralynne), West Jordan, UT.
Deseret News – Friday, 13 January 2006
Glenn Beck, oddly, was the one who brought Cleon Skousen back to the forefront of my mind. On one of my book tours, I was signing books at Moon’s Book Store in Dallas, TX when I found Br. Skousen’s Days of the Living Christ. I don’t think I signed enough books to pay for what I purchased that day. But I believe that is when I truly began loving the mind of Cleon Skousen. He was so unabashedly patriotic and truly understood the divine purposes of the United States of America. For that alone, I could offer the man my greatest and utmost respect.
Everyone who is a follower and reader of my blog knows how deeply I love America, what she stands for and equally, why she was created. Certainly, at this time our nation’s history I believe the wisdom and knowledge of Cleon Skousen could go a long way in helping Americans to understand where we came from and where we are headed.
I am unwilling to give up the fight for America. I believe there is so much more to America than most Americans know. It is one of our divine missions to remain as the bastion for liberty to the world. In order to do that, we must restore the U.S. Constitution as the rule of law. Help me, America. Let us take our nation back.
Have you called your senators and congressmen and filled them in on how you feel about what’s going on?
Have you called the White House and left Barack Obama no doubt about your feelings as to what he’s been doing?
Have you educated yourself on the U.S. Constitution, the Republic form of government, the dangers of Socialism/Communism and our founding fathers?
Have you shared with your family, friends, neighbors and peers what you’re learning and the truth about America?
Have you taught your children the truth about America instead of what is being taught today?
Have you awakened to the dangers facing America now and simply said, “Not on my watch.”
We must roll up our sleeves, dig in and simply get the job done. The alternative is unacceptable.
Copyright 2009. All rights reserved by Candace E. Salima.
Copyright 2009 Candace E. Salima, All rights reserved
Five Little Pumpkins
On October - 31 - 2009
Five little pumpkins sitting on a gate;
The first one said, “Oh my it’s get-ting late!”
The sec-ond one said, “There are witch-es in the air!”
The third one said, “But we don’t care! We don’t care!
They might be scary but we don’t care!”
The Fourth one said, “Run, let’s run!”
The fifth one said, “I’m ready for some fun!
“Ooo-oo” went the wind and out went the light,
and five little pumpkins went rolling out of sight!
Happy Halloween Everyone!
Do I look Fat?
On October - 30 - 2009
I’m starting to feel fat. When I was younger it was always embarrassing when girls my age would look at my legs and say, “I wish I had your skinny legs”. Yes, it was very emasculating to hear those types of comments. So, when I got on my mission, I was able to brag that I got up to a whopping 140 pounds. All of my slacks were very tight and I even had to commission some new trousers from a local seamstress in Ecuador to accommodate my growing waistline. However my current situation is getting very grave. My neck and chin are starting to look like the double chin that Glenn Beck is sporting. My belly is growing further and further out over my pants so that I can no longer see my belt buckle. My pants are all a little tight and I can now see my gut when I’m just standing in a relaxed position. I’ve definitely got to do something about my weight but at the end of the day, I’m just too tired to actually go out and run around. I guess that is how it starts. Maybe I’ll participate in our stake basketball program. It might just allow me to get in enough exercise that I don’t feel like a complete fat fatty fatso.
So, as of right now, I weight over 160 lbs. Not much over, but I’m over that. So, I’m FAT. I guess I’ll start by eating less twinkies and HoHo’s.
Nelly’s Not The Prophet!!
On October - 30 - 2009
Brothas and Sistas, Nelly is a rapper not the Prophet! When he wrote the song: IT’S GETTING HOT IN HERE – SO TAKE OFF ALL YOUR CLOTHES, that was not a revelation and he was not taking to us. Really I should just say sistas cause the brothas are keeping their clothes on (even the pre and post mission clothes from 5 years ago… Shout out to brotha Stephen L , I kinda got your back, I said KINDA) . Now this is something that ya’ll won’t hear at General Conference. Why you ask, cause the General Relief Society President is more like Aunt Bea and less like Madea. However, there’s a few members of the church that are like **Madea and if you ever have the opportunity to meet them you will gain an immediate testimony of modesty, or want to leave the church.
I know you’re wondering how I know all this, and if I’ve had the opportunity to meet such refreshingly honest women… Well, let’s just say I have a testimony of modesty! Yes, it was baptism by fire! No, there are no pictures! Yes, I feel blessed and highly favored! Yes, my feelings were hurt! No, I didn’t leave the church. Yes sistas all is well in zion… Now!
Stop trying to make things sexy that aren’t. If a police woman walked up to my car to give me a ticket dressed the way some of the female officers dress for Halloween, I would have her arrested for sexual assualt. Nobody wants to see a pregnant nun, or stripper L.D.S. Missionary, it ain’t cute! Sistas let’s stop trying to make stuff sexy thats not sexy! Nurses, really? A maids costume? If your answer is yes, don’t be surprised if your husband expects you to clean in that. When did animals become sexy? Animals… Really? Some of the most profound things I’ve learned in my adult life I’ve learned from my Madea. Who would probably tell us not to let Halloween turn nice housewives into modest hoes.
It’s time for us to return back to basics! Where being an animal meant being fully clothed. Dressing like a nurse meant if you walked into a hospital they’d put you to work. And dressing like a maid meant you looked like you could clean places where dirt and dust collected, not that you were trying to collect other peoples husbands. Sistas we have got to stop trying to look like “sexy teens”, so that our teens won’t be trying to look like “sexy women”. We are all beautiful, and some of us really do have “sweet spirits”. It’s time that we once again proclaim, “I’m Mormon, I can’t”. No, let’s switch that “I’m Mormon, I won’t”. I won’t dress immodest, I won’t be the Naughty Angel, no matter how heavenly it might seem. I won’t embarrass my whole entire church by going on Dr. Phil (my own personal issue thought I’d throw it in). Sistas I’m not trying to throw ya’ll under the bus, I’m just saying we have gotten outta control. Lets save something for our husbands in the privacy of our own homes. There’s no need for us to try to solve all the unsolved mysteries of Halloween. Our new motto should be we are “treats not tricks” . Please stop telling folks ” I’m a dead swimmer” so you can wear a bikini (Renee)!
We don’t really want our dear Prophet to have to address this issue again. Asking us how we went from being Celestial Wholesome Queens on the 30 of Oct., to Naughty, Naked, and Obscene on 31 of Oct. What a difference a day makes! I don’t want President Monson calling Madea. Don’t be fooled, the LDS Church has a couple different versions of Madea! Trust me, we got a Madea that speaks every language, even suburbia. What are your thoughts on Halloween? All caution has a cost – “I’m taking my garments off”!! Or does being modest make you spiritually strong – “I’m keeping my garments on”!
** (Mother Dear = usually grandma, sometimes an older woman in the community not always related. Almost always Black) is about to educate ya’ll without putting you through the public humiliation.
Sista Beehive
Elna Baker’s Fortune Cookie Costume
On October - 30 - 2009
Good morning, brothers and sisters. My talk today is on Mormon Comedy.
But I’ll get to that in a minute.
First, have you ever noticed somebody whose head is like a gumball machine? How every petty, insignificant thought he ever has drops down from his brain and onto his tongue where it then rolls out of his mouth and onto the floor where it gets lost under the furniture because he drops them so often that nobody pays any attention?
I see this with a lot with bloggers. They feel that they have an audience out there somewhere that they are obligated to “share” every little thought with, so they write something every day, whether anybody is interested or not.
Well, that’s not my scene, Daddy-O. I may think I have something to say, but I don’t kid myself into believing for one moment that any of you are out there breathlessly waiting for my next entry.
But now I find myself in a bit of a dilemma. I do like it when people read my stuff. But If I post something only once in a great while, you, dear reader, may lose the habit of checking back here to see if there’s anything new.
You might then miss my upcoming story about the amazing lost conference talk that was suppressed for the past 25 years but has now surfaced on YouTube. Or you may not learn about the book I discovered which has finally convinced me to let go of my plans to take on a second wife.
So I figure if I post an entry here twice a month, that should be just about right. Not too often, and not so infrequently that you’ll forget about me.
What absolutely astonishes me, folks, is that apparently I do have an actual readership, as evidenced by the fact that to date, nearly one thousand three hundred people have stopped by to read my recent opinion on whether it’s appropriate or not to blindly follow the prophet (My opinion: it’s not).
But who’s counting? (Well, I am actually, via that device at the bottom of the page.)
What astonishes me about that number is that hardly anybody I know personally admits to reading my blog. Not family, not friends, and certainly not anybody in my ward.
So I don’t know who you people are or where you came from, but really, thanks for stopping by.
Which brings me to tonight’s post.
I would love to share with you the meatier topics I had in mind, but like you, I’d rather spend my time at the computer reading what somebody else has written than write something myself, because the computer should be used for learning, not for doing homework.
But it’s getting near the end of the month, and I’m in danger of missing my self-imposed quota. (It’s already too late to finish my home teaching this month. Oh, well.)
Anyway, instead of giving you something I created myself, I’ve decided to share something my new friend Elder OldDog brought to my attention, and it’s appropriate for the end of October, this being Halloween and all. It’s a video of a cute young Mormon gal, Elna Baker, holding forth before an audience of New Yorkers. And it’s hilarious.
I’ve always had a thing for Mormon stand-up comedy, because I can boast having started the very first comedy venue in Utah Valley way back around 1979.
The big stand-up comedy craze of the 80′s was about to explode nationally, and the owner of the Villa Theater in Springville approached me with the idea that we could turn the place into a comedy club on the weekends, with Yours Truly as the host.
We held auditions, and soon we had a troop of very funny amateur comics drawing really good crowds. There was the Hawaiian funny man Eric KePo’o, who evoked a mormonized (and cleaner) version of Richard Pryor; the hilariously cynical Mike Agrelius, author of the bestselling parody “Especially For Anyone”; and a whole passel of comics whose names I can no longer recall, including one who had a knack for dead-on impersonations of the general authorities of the church.
I remember one pecksniff who walked out of the theater in a huff one night while this guy was doing his imitation of Spencer W. Kimball. She felt he was blaspheming the prophet. What she didn’t know was that this same comic had been asked to provide the entertainment at a social function attended by the apostles and their wives, where he had these very same men rolling in the aisles with his impressions of them. His biggest hit was his version of Bruce R. McConkie as a pompous blowhard, which everyone present (except Bruce R) admitted was spot on.
Alas, the problem with performing local stand-up every weekend was the challenge of coming up with new material, and by the second season we were all pretty much repeating ourselves.
So by 1981 my career as a stand-up comic was over. But that spirit lives on in my new favorite Mormon comedienne, Elna Baker. You can watch her perform by CLICKING HERE.
And be sure and check back sometime in November to find out why I’m abandoning polygamy.
_
Forty Two
On October - 30 - 2009
In The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams, we learn that the answer to life is 42. Adams does not tell us what the question is, however.
But 42 as a meaningful answer to some question, might actually be true, in my case. At the age of 42, I will become a published author. The final product may not be out until about three weeks after my 43rd birthday, but at least the book will be available for pre-orders around January 16th. And ARC copies will go out before my birthday, I am certain. To celebrate, I plan to treat myself to membership with LDS Storymakers sometime in February, if they will have me.
SO . . . in my case, why is it an answer to life? Well, I have wondered for a long, long time what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I don’t wonder anymore.
I hope to have a book cover in the next two weeks, so come back later for a sneak peek. Then watch for “The Chronicles of Gan – The Thorn” in a bookstore near you!
