Mormon Bloggers

Do you like MC Frontalot? I do. I especially like this song. It amuses me that I am sharing it here. Great, yes? Nerdcore fills my soul. So there are various genres of bad blogs, if you will, but one of my least favorites is the “album”-style blog, which consists exclusively of photos from personally significant events (usually vacations or some such) with minimal commentary, and no word-based posts to break the monotony of facefacefacebuildingbuildingSILLYfaceOMGSOBORING. Some people should just start a Flickr account, know what I’m saying? If you think I am talking about you, I am not. Anyway, I went on vacation last week and I regret to inform you that I am going to post some pictures now. Don’t worry, though, I will also post some stories to keep things interesting. The stories and the picture are not going to match most of the time. What, you think I need to post a photo of me white-water rafting if I am already GOING TO TELL YOU ABOUT IT... Read the rest of this entry »

–Nan Fairbrother Image courtesy of http://garfieldminusgarfield.net According to the Google Analytics, my readership has gone down 33% in the past few weeks. That’s because I have not written anything of substance for several weeks, and the few entries I have published have been met with scornful, bitter, vitriolic disbelief (I’m looking at you, Christina). Here’s the really weird thing, though. I didn’t blog not* because I was too busy being sick or working or having WAY TOO MUCH fun, and I didn’t not blog because I was trying to spare the sanity of the people who had been following my blog when I had been writing every day (although maybe some of you appreciated that, yes?). I didn’t blog because I ran out of things to say. For some reason I spent a fortnight not wanting to write. Or rather, not feeling like I had anything to write about. Dry spell is over, kids. Welcome back to my head. And if by some chance some of that 33% never... Read the rest of this entry »

A while ago, Bob and I had the following conversation. To provide some background without giving anything away, I had met a boy whom I thought was cool, and then changed my mind about wanting to pursue him (this will all make perfect sense in a minute). Me: Yeah, no. I’m not going for that anymore. B: How come? Me: That was strike three. He’s out. B: I beg your pardon? Me: You know, my Three Strikes rule. I’ve told you about that. B: No, you haven’t. Me: Seriously? Well, did you read my blog entry about it? B: (silently pitying me for going senile at such a young age) Whoops. I really thought I had blogged about this at least once. But I checked the archives and … guess not. Well, here you go. This has the unfortunate potential of being one of those blog entries that is not interesting to anyone but me. I have a nasty habit of pursuing men long after they have proved to be bad news. Sometimes, they start out nice and then turn mean, and yet... Read the rest of this entry »

After such a heavy post earlier this week, I thought I would lighten things up a bit, in an effort to bring some balance to the Universe. You’re welcome. Also, I am very excited to announce that, after a lengthy stint at the top, “Man sucking boobs milk video” has FINALLY ceased to become my number one search term on Google Analytics. This is a happy day. It dropped all the way to number four, even. This really is excellent news. I have no idea how that search leads to my blog, so don’t ask. Anyway, so last night I was at the temple, minding my own business, and a very nice and presumably well-meaning woman came up to me and said, “You have such a pretty dress! Is that your WEDDING dress?” Here’s a Multiple Choice Question. Did I: A. Burst into tears. B. Punch her in the face. C. Both A and B. D. Smile politely and respond with something I forget what I said exactly, but it wasn’t bitter or mean. The answer is, of course,... Read the rest of this entry »

After a rather stressful week, if I say so myself, things took a turn for the better when I drove up to Spokane this morning and picked up my brother. He is done with his freshman year of college and will be home for four months, and he is like my best friend, so that is pretty much the best news ever. On the way home, in Moses Lake, because we are awesome, we stopped by this random record shop where they had a bin of CDs for ONE DOLLAR. Many of these were the WORST CDs YOU CAN IMAGINE. We agreed that we would each choose several CDs and purchase them, and the rule was WE HAD TO LISTEN TO THEM ALL THE WAY THROUGH NO MATTER HOW BAD THEY WERE. Some of them, however, we bought just because they were so awesome. Here were David’s picks: Monty Python Live at City Center, 1976. This was a really funny CD even if it was a lousy recording. We had to keep adjusting the volume at weird intervals. But, you get what you pay for. Ray Charles, Genius & Friends, 2005. This... Read the rest of this entry »

Marriage Makeover Program will teach you a variety of steps, tools, techniques, and strategies so you can easily incorporate them into your relationship. See the product below, you get two additional books and the audio recording for helping build and repair your marriage. AKPC_IDS += "162568,";Popularity: unranked [?] Read More →

I’m temping in an office today. It’s boring. No, scratch that, because saying it’s boring only reflects badly on me–implying that I’m the kind of person who gets bored. There just … isn’t much to do. How’s that? I look forward to the mail coming once a day so I can spend twenty minutes sorting it. I love it when the phone rings even if the caller has the wrong number. Or is a telemarketer. Yesterday I took a survey about office supplies over the phone. I think I have made my point. Fact: working as a front desk secretary is essentially being a professional flirt. Think about it. I am the smiling face who greets the Fed Ex Guy and other delivery workers/couriers. I soothingly and chirpily connect callers to the department they seek. I charmingly welcome potential job applicants (all male so far). And I make small talk with my temporary co-workers, one of whom walks by the front desk much more than he needs to, it seems. I smile, I laugh,... Read the rest of this entry »

There was nothing like sitting in my father-in-law’s office the week he passed away to remind me that when we come to death we leave behind all our material possessions. I sat in his chair and thumbed through the books on his desk, taking home one that interested me. A few weeks later Paul traveled [...] All Content Copyright (C) 2007-2009 TJ Hirst. No content may be reproduced without the copyright owner’s express written consent.What Do We Take With Us When We Die? AKPC_IDS += "149196,";Popularity: unranked [?] Read More →

The “you” is someone who needs to hear this, not a “you” who broke my heart. Nobody who has ever broken my heart reads this blog, I don’t think. If you are: Hey. You broke my heart and I resent that, because my heart is kinda defective to begin with. Go screw yourself. Bye. Ways To Cowboy Up and Heal Oneself of a Broken Heart (in semi-chronological order) 1. Cry. A lot. Even if it makes the other people in the bathroom or movie theater or ethnic grocery store (true story!) uncomfortable. Cry as much as you like. Try to believe that one day you will be able to experience a trigger memory that will not make you cry again. Even if it seems unlikely. 2. Spend time alone. Go on walks, read scriptures, all that introspective stuff you see broken-hearted characters do in movies. DO NOT read old emails or journal entries initially. Build up to that gradually, starting with easy stuff like looking up his name in the phone book. 3. Spend time with people... Read the rest of this entry »

I’m thinking Diablo Cody-infused rom-com, minus the sex. Him: If he doesn’t talk to you, then you’re going after the wrong guy, again. And I’m going to tease you, because I have yet to hear about a cool guy that you’ve pursued. Me: Hey, hey …Him: Mostly I’m thinking about that horribly narcissistic **** guy you were so spellbound by. Me: Oh gosh. That’s my big fear honestly. It’s too bad that I go for mysterious slash creative, because that is so often linked to douchebag. I should make a t-shirt that says “NO MORE DOUCHEBAGS” just to remind me. Him: Yeah, but that makes it sound like you work for a company that supplies douchebags and that you have evidently run out of them. Me: Shoot, maybe I did. AKPC_IDS += "141780,";Popularity: unranked [?] Read More →

I want a job, but I still haven’t found one. In order to add to my piddling, hideously inadequate paragraph of qualifications, today I spent eight hours learning CPR and first aid by practicing on Red Cross manikins of varying sizes. The course covered infant, child and adult methods, so we got to practice pressing on little baby Claire’s (apparently that was her name, according to my instructor) chest and creating a seal over her tiny nose and mouth in order to fill her minute lungs with air. It took only the slightest puff of air from my grown up lungs. The video instructor kept reiterating, ludicrously, I thought, to always keep in mind that “babies are very small.” Yeah, duh, I thought smugly as we watched the video. But then when I really had to practice resuscitating an infant, it hit me–holy majoly, babies are really, REALLY small. Also–and this is so pathetic I hesitate to write it, but it’s important–I have forgotten how easy... Read the rest of this entry »

I’m eight doses closer to happiness with this little green pill. That’s my ultra high dose of Vitamin D to combat the severe deficiency I’ve contracted living for ten years in this seems-to-be-winter-all-year state of Minnesota. So far this month, which is usually the hardest, I’ve kept the winter blues at bay, and it’s my [...] All Content Copyright (C) 2007-2009 TJ Hirst. No content may be reproduced without the copyright owner’s express written consent. The Happiest Year Ever AKPC_IDS += "123566,";Popularity: unranked [?] Read More →