Mormon Bloggers

PLEASE DO NOT READ BELOW THIS LINE. IT IS FOR PERSONAL USE ONLY. 1) A twenty-year research project has shown that children with elevated IQ’s have a natural predisposition to cleanliness and order. Chronic untidiness is symptomatic of below average intelligence. 2) Studies show that caffeine is not as harmful or addictive to adults as it is for children, and that adult bio-chemistry makes it possible for adults to quit at any time. 3) Kids who play violent video games more than 4 hours per week have a greater likelihood of moderate to severe acne. 4) 95% of tooth decay comes from super-oxygenated bacteria, resulting from chewing gum or food with an open mouth. 5) People who listen to rap music earn, on average, 60% less than their non-rap listening counterparts. 85% of all youth and adults who cite Eminem as an important influence are unemployed. 6) After more than three hours, airborne bacteria from damp towels can cause severe infections in the lining of the lung. 7) Daily consumption... Read the rest of this entry »

As a parent, once in a while I have an epiphany about how to raise my children. Sometimes I have that epiphany after it is too late.  This is one of those moments. A thought occurred to me about how I could have made a subtle shift in the way I taught my children that could bless their lives, and mine too.  Sadly, this epiphany came to me after some of my children have already left the nest, and some are at the age where they could be finding their own eternal companions. Here’s my thought: If I could go back in time, I would teach my children a greater love and respect for those who have made their way in life without parents.  I am talking about instilling an appreciation for orphans in their hearts. The opportunities are all around. Opportunities for service, for understanding.  I’m sure there is a basis in scripture for this. My children are well acquainted with many orphans, but I never took the time to call attention to it.  For example, even... Read the rest of this entry »

I was in the local home improvement store last week, looking for ways to improve my home. And by improve, I mean buying paint for yet another Pinewood Derby. Yes, my 12th, and final, Pinewood Derby. I suppose congratulations are in order. We intend on continuing our streak of having very creative, and slow cars. (more here.) However, this post is not intended to be about my glorious history of creating slow, but clever, cars. As I was walking down the aisle, I came upon a giant stack of black boxes. Big boxes. Big black boxes. More specifically, they were Rubbermaid 32 gallon storage bins, with lids. Until I saw them, I did not even realize I was looking for one. I bought one – not cheap ($30 – lid cost extra) – and took it home. That evening, I tried to suppress my glee as I unveiled my find to the family. They were much less excited. You see, we have four boys living in the home, ages 10 to 21. They are wonderful, they are righteous, they are smart, they do the most... Read the rest of this entry »

It was about five years ago that the CBC reported that forty percent of the world’s wealth was owned by one percent of the world’s population.  There has been an ever increasing gap between the wealthy, and the common-day worker, as the occupy movement so overtly showed.  It has been claimed that the wealthiest in North America are so out of touch that they needed to go undercover and perform work expectation tasks (that they usually cannot complete in adequate time) in a reality show called “Undercover Boss”.  This show is meant to encourage the boss to feel sympathy for the lowly worker.  However, Jean Swanson, an anti-poverty activist, would argue that this is a form of poor-bashing. What is poor-bashing? Great question!  According to Swanson, in her book Poor-Bashing: ThePolitics of Exclusion, she argues that poor bashing is ignoring facts about poverty and repeating stereotypes of the poor. It is assuming that the rich are entitled while... Read the rest of this entry »

I knew this day would come.  I was, of course, hoping it never would—hoping that my daughter would never be mean to someone else’s daughter—but as they say, I wrote the book on girl bullying in elementary school, so I knew that there was a pretty good chance that despite all of my best efforts, one of these days, my girl was gonna act like the mean one.  This morning, she told me about it. Not in a confessional kind of way, mind you.  Rather, in a completely casual, half-delighted voice, as she was eating her breakfast and I was at her side packing her lunch, she dropped the, “Guess-what-Mommy-Jessica-said-she-was-going-to-be-in-the-We-Don’t Like-Madison-club-also.” Stomach drop.  Head spin.  Knees turn to mush. “What did you say, honey?”  I managed to ask. I had heard her words perfectly clearly and the implications of them hit me straight away.  My question was my way of gathering my thoughts—stalling, if you will. ... Read the rest of this entry »

When I co-wrote The Angry Smile, I did not intend it to be a How-To book.  In fact, I know lots of ways to be assertive, direct, and emotionally honest with others.  But let’s face it, sometimes a situation calls for a little passive aggressive behavior… My 8-year old daughter has a frenemy.  She has known this un-friend–and experienced the girl’s on-again, off-again spitefulness–since they were in pre-school together.  The girl, in fact, is the subject of a previous article that I posted on Psychology Today back in 2010, entitled Sticks and Stones: A Little Girl’s First Experience with Bullying. Things haven’t changed much with this girl over the last four years.  At times she is delightful and I must credit her with having an uncanny knack for charming her peers and making them want to please her.  Even in her mean girl moments, she is so subtle and innocent-seeming (her extra-small stature seems to play into this) that I understand fully... Read the rest of this entry »

Photo by Photostock I pull into the carpool lane to pick my kids up from school and am yet again touched by the sight of a service dog with a bright pink lunch pail hanging from her mouth as she trots alongside a young girl in a wheelchair. Then there is the computer-generated voice that says “Amen!” at just the right moment during church. I am inspired by the young family in the front row as they minister to the physical and spiritual needs of their disabled son who is barely visible amidst the medical equipment that surrounds him. It would be so easy not to go to church but there they are, week after week.  How do these families and others like them keep their hope alive in the face of such daunting challenges? Life can bring so many unexpected troubles like job loss, the breakup of a marriage, financial struggles, ill parents or the surprising diagnosis of a spouse or child. It’s so easy to get caught up in our troubles and heartache. I am no... Read the rest of this entry »

Son, this is called a shovel. No, you don’t plug it in. President’s Day weekend. Rest and relaxation! Not hardly – chores and more chores – especially for the 14 year-old FOML.  A wise and kind neighbor asked him if he would be willing to dig a ditch for him so he could extend a gas line in his yard. He promised to “make it worth his while”. (Whatever that might mean.) My son was willing, and spent a good chunk of his Saturday, and most of his Monday holiday with a pick axe and shovel.  It was a hard job, made especially hard because the only ditches my boys ever seem to dig are to protect sand castles from the encroaching surf. My son came home exhausted, with blisters. He thought I was weird because I was excited to see them, and I was proud of him.  Here’s why: A good friend of mine is currently serving as a Mission President. We were visiting on the phone the other day and I asked him a question: “Well President,... Read the rest of this entry »

Does spanking your child work? Or does it not work?  Is it an effective tool for disciplining your child and teaching them to be obedient?  According to a University of Manitoba Professor, Joan Durrant, the answer to the question is: spanking does not work. Answering questions from Stockholm Sweden, she said that spanking, and other types of physical punishment, displays an aggressive conflict resolution model; which is a very ineffective model for resolving conflict because of its negative outcomes. It erodes trust in the child. It creates hostility and resentment towards the parent.  Also, physical punishment may create the environment for lying, as a child may begin lie in order to avoid being punished. According to Durrant’s team research, the consequences of physical punishment in later life range from mental health issues, such as depression and anxiety; to drug and alcohol use; to damage done to the brain itself. Durrant believes that parents need... Read the rest of this entry »

There is a quote going around on Pinterest which says, “Good moms have sticky floors, dirty ovens, and happy kids.”  I take issue with that.  I have clean floors.  My oven is clean (mostly).  I have clean bathrooms.  I have a clean kitchen.  My carpets are vacuumed.  Our bedrooms are clean.  And my kids are happy.  I am a good mom. Having happy kids does not mean I have to have a dirty  Read More →

Today I’m re-sharing a post of one of my favorite childhood holiday memories … The winter holidays are meant for kids.  Santa Claus is real, snow falls solely for sledding and building snow families, and a baby (just like I used to be, they’ll say) was born in the hay.  When else do we let them bring trees in the house or bury them with brand new toys, shiny paper, and glittery ribbon?  In the thick of it, they’ll tell you every bit of it is magical.  It’s not until we get a little older that particular pieces of that holiday magic begin to plant themselves in a special part of our memory.  For me, the enchantment was the Christmas tree. Growing up in Iowa, the formula for the perfect Christmas tree involved waiting for a bitter cold day and swirling biting winds.  The whole family piled out of the station wagon at the country Christmas tree farm, picked up a hacksaw and trudged acres and acres to the farthest, most un-harvested... Read the rest of this entry »

In less than six minutes, Philip Zimbardo makes one of the most compelling arguments for the trend of deterioration of our boys’ characters and achievements. He documents the trend and why. This is a MUST SEE (in my humble opinion) for any parent with boys. Click the link below. Philip Zimbardo: The demise of guys? | Video on TED.com  Read More →