Years ago when I made my first trip on an airplane, as the flight attendants instructed us on what to do in case of an emergency, I found myself feeling upset about one of the directions given. They said if we lost pressure in the cabin, that these oxygen masks would drop down and we should attach our own first and then put the masks on our children.
Back then I wasn’t a mother yet, but I thought, “What? How could I possibly allow my child to be deprived of oxygen even for a moment?” Then it was explained that if we put it on the children first, we might pass out before we are able to get them on ourselves. Logically I know that makes complete sense, but being a mother now, I can only picture myself frantically getting the masks on my children because I imagine I would feel selfish putting mine on first.
This scenario has played through my mind through the years as I realized it applies to so many things. It is hard to mother if you haven’t eaten, showered, given yourself some quiet time to pray, meditate, study the scriptures, or continue to develop and maintain our skills and talents. As my visiting teacher talked to me today, the lesson she shared was somewhat related and we talked about how hard it is to take care of ourselves when we have babies.
We agreed that we are better mothers when we have what we need and it isn’t doing our children any favors to neglect ourselves until our patience wears thin. We need to teach by example. If we take no time to have prayer and scripture study, how will our children learn to make that a priority in their lives? How will they learn to take care of themselves?
To help our kids, we need to help ourselves first. I think there is a fine line between being selfless and being a martyr. Of course we should serve our kids and constantly have their best interest in mind, but not to the detriment of our well being.
It’s been my goal with my 4th born child to do a better job taking care of myself and I’ve learned how important it is. As a result of making sure I get all of the meals I need, I find myself enjoying this baby even more than my others – not that I love her more, but that I’m not as frazzled. Even on her crankiest days, I find it easier to take it with a sense of humor and appreciate her various expressions.
Trying not to fall into old habits, I went beyond my goal one morning and made myself an omelette, even garnished with sliced green onion and diced tomatoes. It was a proud moment for me and a symbol of my new perspective on what good mothering is.
The visiting teaching lesson for this month is Stand Strong and Immovable in Faith and it lists 8 essential things we need to do to strengthen our relationship with our Savior. This was what led to our conversation, how we shouldn’t allow anything to interfere with the things below because we need them just as much as our bodies need nourishment.
1. Make and keep covenants with Him.
2. Are worthy and worship in His temples.
3. Study His doctrine in the scriptures and the words of prophets.
4. Qualify for, recognize, and follow the Holy Ghost.
5. Share and defend His gospel.
6. Participate in sincere personal and family prayer.
7. Have family home evening.
8. Live principles of self-reliance and provident living.
And off I go to accomplish another item on my to do list.
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