I’m embarrassed to say that my family is currently battling lice. I’ve never experienced this before and it’s very overwhelming. It’s hard to overcome the stigma that if you have lice, that means you have poor hygiene and are lower class. I am grateful that a well-loved friend of mine went through it this summer. Her family is definitely hygienic and well-off. This experience is hard enough, so it’s a tremendous blessing that she was an example of how it can happen to anyone.
I had a great laugh when she told me a girl at church teased her daughter for having lice. Not too long afterwards, that little girl got lice. Moments like that are rare. I’m also grateful for all of the advice she gave me and products she brought over that she never used. I haven’t needed them yet, but I love that they are a reminder that her family’s lice went away. I keep hearing about lice that are resistant to medication and it terrifies me because 1. I don’t want lice in my hair and 2. I can’t afford to keep treating it.
How many treatments will I have to go through before I can’t afford it? And how many days will people be able to stand picking the nits out of my hair? I never imagined that I would shave my head, but if they don’t go away in a reasonable amount of time, I actually think I would consider going bald.
Even harder, my little daughter has it. She’s just a toddler and won’t hold still. I was up until 3 am going through her hair while she slept. I couldn’t get to her whole head, but it was better than nothing.
I was already reaching my breaking point when my mom called and said someone had submitted to do temple work for my missing grandma. I became very emotional and I’m not sure why exactly. They can’t do her temple work because there’s no death certificate. We will have to wait until she would have been 110 years old before we can be baptized on her behalf. Even though it’s not possible for this person to do the work for her, I found myself feeling rather threatened that someone could take that away from us. We have searched long and hard for her so we could do the work and to know what happened to her. It is very frustrating that there’s no trace of her. The smallest hope we have is that my mom will be around in 20 years when her mother would have been 110.
I started bawling. I’m sure I will be here, but it’s my dream for my mom to do it, to feel the Spirit as her mom is washed clean by proxy. What a beautiful experience it would be for my mom to stand in my grandmother’s place, signifying that she forgives her for abandoning her and wants her to come to Christ. I sobbed as I thought about it and even harder to think she might not have the opportunity.
I don’t know if I would have felt the same without the lice trial, but sometimes things just build up until you blow.
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